How I got here

It is one thing to find yourself at a loss for words, but an entirely different thing to face a dearth of outlets when you finally do find the words. It was a situation like that, which pushed me to pen down my thoughts. Of late, apart from a couple of pieces for my college magazine, my creative process was whittled down to cooking up concepts and formulae for semester exams when I didn’t remember the right answer. Then one day, a head bursting with mixed emotions, opinions and ideas took a dump in my newly opened diary, and that was when I rediscovered the joy of writing, a joy that I had long forgotten. Soon, I found myself revisiting what I had written and editing sentences and tweaking the language here and there. Feedback seemed to be the only thing missing, and I considered starting a blog. I remembered how it always annoyed me that the essays I wrote in school were expected to have more meaningful and relevant content and how it was never enough to just be fluent and expressive. Then I figured, a blog would give me all the freedom I wanted. But once I started giving it serious thought, I seemed to be at a loss again. I had a million ideas but couldn’t decide which one to pick. I thought of a book review, given how much I love reading. But once I started, I knew it would probably be as long as the book itself, with everything I had to say! Then I considered writing about a current affair, like the Delhi rape incident, or the Connecticut shooting. But, given my indignation at the events, I reflected that it was probably not the best idea for my first ever blog article to be filled with profanity. A few days ago, a Tambrahm couple started chatting with me animatedly at the airport in Hyderabad, and it got me thinking about how a common language can elevate people to a whole new level of mutual comfort. Having faced a similar situation many times from both ends, I decided that it was a promising topic, and resolved to organize my thoughts during the flight and write it down as soon as I landed. On boarding, however, my mind had different plans. My attention was attracted by an adorable little kid who was convinced that the wings of the plane were going to break. I vaguely contemplated writing about my childhood but I was too distracted by then, to give it serious thought. But it did get me thinking back to when I was little, and how I used to wait for the plane to rise above the clouds, so that I could find out if angels really lived there, like I had seen in Looney Tunes. Although I knew better since then, I still felt that familiar rush of excitement as I looked out the window and watched the world from above, the cottony white fluffs slowly and lazily gliding away to reveal the Indian coast. I gazed in awe at the sea and the alternating patches of green and brown on land. It took me back to another flight I had taken in the night, where I had looked out the window and tried to guess which patches were cities and which were villages, based on the level of electrification. Just as I thought I had managed to achieve an unwavering train of thought, I realized that the flight I was reminiscing about was the one I had taken to my convocation. And it happened all over again. All thoughts whizzed out of my brain, this time to be replaced by yearning memories of college, friends, juniors, seniors, the classrooms, the auditorium, the roads, the hostel, and a good many other things, the listing of which itself would be longer than the book review I mentioned.
All those memories came rushing back, but I still couldn’t find what I was looking for. I thought about a couple of my friends’ blogs, that I loved reading. One of them had already covered a lot of topics that I was interested in, and we are so uncannily similar in our views that if I voiced my opinion about any of the same things, he would have to sue me for plagiarism! Another friend, however, seemed to write straight from the heart, anything and everything that she thought or felt. And in the end, that is just what I proceeded to do. And for once, it feels really good not having to worry about the content! So that’s pretty much how I got here. Welcome to the place I’m going to put down all my random thoughts that I want to revisit later. Welcome to my pensieve. :)