From 23 to 15

Dear 15-year-old Aditi,

You are now 23 years old. No, I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong - It’s NOTHING like you imagined. I am not sure if it is better or worse, though. “Confusing” is a better word. Anyway, here are some pointers I know you could really use - 

1. First things first. I know you’ve always wanted to be an adult, but it’s way too overrated. Not kidding. You’re just basically confused and angry all the time. And that whole making-your-own-decisions nonsense that you’ve been waiting for isn’t all that exciting, by the way. Trust me, life is more peaceful when you have classes all day followed by IIT classes till 9 after which you just eat and crash on the bed with no time for activities like thinking-about-life. Although, I’m still waiting for a second opinion from 26-year-old Aditi, so I’ll let you know when she gets back to me.

2. Read, read, read. Read like it’s the last day of your life. You think you’re some big book lover just because you’ve read Harry Potter a million times, but there’s SO MUCH out there that you don’t know. READ.

3. Keep a diary. You love reliving moments in your life over and over again. It gets frustrating when you can’t clearly recall something that randomly flashes through your memory. 

4. Fight with Amma and Appa. More than you already do. Fight for the little things. You may let it go now but it will keep bothering you later too. Fight when it is still okay to fight, because you’re gonna see them only once in a while after this, and you won’t feel like fighting then.

5. Read The Fountainhead. This is the only age at which you will be able to enjoy it as an innocent story, without questioning your life, or wanting to throw something heavy at the author.

6. Ask questions. About everything. 

7. Don’t forget how much you love to learn. There will come a point during engineering where you will want to stop studying. Resist it, and power through. 18-year-old Aditi would have a cardiac arrest if she heard me say this, but - Instrumentation and Control is pretty interesting! Just… give it a fair chance ok? I would also tell 11-year-old Aditi to give History and Civics a chance, but we both know that brat isn’t gonna listen!

8. You’ll be in North India for a while. It’s scarier than you think. Oh and turns out you’re not as bold and independent as you think you are. So, if you could just get over yourself right now, that would make the relocation much easier for me. Thanks.

9. Don’t get your driver’s license at 20. You are not gonna have a car for a looooong time. So when you’re still taking the Collector-Nagar-Share-Auto at 23, it’ll be a lot less frustrating if you could convince yourself that it’s ONLY because you don’t have a license yet. 

10. Write. Keep writing. Write down all those stories you keep weaving in your head. You don’t need to show them to anybody, just write for yourself. You know you want to. Don’t be so lazy, for god’s sake.

All said and done, you’re not a complete screw-up, I suppose. There are some things that work out well, and you have stuff to look forward to. 

1. One day you will have your own money. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME. You’ll have a debit card, whose (frequent) swiping sound will no longer be tainted by guilt. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME. You will go back to college without a self imposed strict budget. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME. It is totally gonna live up to and exceed all your expectations of “life with a salary” as you have been imagining it all these years! 

2. Trust your instincts. They’re not bad. You’re gonna make some pretty great decisions.

3. You make some INSANELY AMAZING FRIENDS in engineering. And of course, they will raise your friendship standards so high that you’ll never make close friends again. But that’s okay. You still have those have INSANELY AMAZING FRIENDS.

4. You know how you’re kinda emotional and sensitive? Well you’re not anymore. You destroyed that side of you in college (thank you so much!). Makes life easier.

So yeah, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. But you have seatbelts. You’ll live. Have fun!

Yours experienced-ly

23-year-old Aditi