From 23 to 15

Dear 15-year-old Aditi,

You are now 23 years old. No, I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong - It’s NOTHING like you imagined. I am not sure if it is better or worse, though. “Confusing” is a better word. Anyway, here are some pointers I know you could really use - 

1. First things first. I know you’ve always wanted to be an adult, but it’s way too overrated. Not kidding. You’re just basically confused and angry all the time. And that whole making-your-own-decisions nonsense that you’ve been waiting for isn’t all that exciting, by the way. Trust me, life is more peaceful when you have classes all day followed by IIT classes till 9 after which you just eat and crash on the bed with no time for activities like thinking-about-life. Although, I’m still waiting for a second opinion from 26-year-old Aditi, so I’ll let you know when she gets back to me.

2. Read, read, read. Read like it’s the last day of your life. You think you’re some big book lover just because you’ve read Harry Potter a million times, but there’s SO MUCH out there that you don’t know. READ.

3. Keep a diary. You love reliving moments in your life over and over again. It gets frustrating when you can’t clearly recall something that randomly flashes through your memory. 

4. Fight with Amma and Appa. More than you already do. Fight for the little things. You may let it go now but it will keep bothering you later too. Fight when it is still okay to fight, because you’re gonna see them only once in a while after this, and you won’t feel like fighting then.

5. Read The Fountainhead. This is the only age at which you will be able to enjoy it as an innocent story, without questioning your life, or wanting to throw something heavy at the author.

6. Ask questions. About everything. 

7. Don’t forget how much you love to learn. There will come a point during engineering where you will want to stop studying. Resist it, and power through. 18-year-old Aditi would have a cardiac arrest if she heard me say this, but - Instrumentation and Control is pretty interesting! Just… give it a fair chance ok? I would also tell 11-year-old Aditi to give History and Civics a chance, but we both know that brat isn’t gonna listen!

8. You’ll be in North India for a while. It’s scarier than you think. Oh and turns out you’re not as bold and independent as you think you are. So, if you could just get over yourself right now, that would make the relocation much easier for me. Thanks.

9. Don’t get your driver’s license at 20. You are not gonna have a car for a looooong time. So when you’re still taking the Collector-Nagar-Share-Auto at 23, it’ll be a lot less frustrating if you could convince yourself that it’s ONLY because you don’t have a license yet. 

10. Write. Keep writing. Write down all those stories you keep weaving in your head. You don’t need to show them to anybody, just write for yourself. You know you want to. Don’t be so lazy, for god’s sake.

All said and done, you’re not a complete screw-up, I suppose. There are some things that work out well, and you have stuff to look forward to. 

1. One day you will have your own money. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME. You’ll have a debit card, whose (frequent) swiping sound will no longer be tainted by guilt. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME. You will go back to college without a self imposed strict budget. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME. It is totally gonna live up to and exceed all your expectations of “life with a salary” as you have been imagining it all these years! 

2. Trust your instincts. They’re not bad. You’re gonna make some pretty great decisions.

3. You make some INSANELY AMAZING FRIENDS in engineering. And of course, they will raise your friendship standards so high that you’ll never make close friends again. But that’s okay. You still have those have INSANELY AMAZING FRIENDS.

4. You know how you’re kinda emotional and sensitive? Well you’re not anymore. You destroyed that side of you in college (thank you so much!). Makes life easier.

So yeah, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. But you have seatbelts. You’ll live. Have fun!

Yours experienced-ly

23-year-old Aditi

The value of money

If I had a nickel for every time I heard the words “You’ll understand the value of money when you start earning”, I probably wouldn't be writing this piece.

All through my childhood, this line was thrown at me repeatedly by my parents, as I’m sure it was at most of my peers as well. Initially it used to be an admonition, and all I could understand when I heard it was - Parents are pissed, stop asking questions and steer clear of the hall and kitchen until the storm has passed. But I never actually understood what it really meant, or what they wanted me to take away from it. Later, I just threw it into that collection of things that parents say that I didn't want to understand or care about - “You’ll understand why people get married when you’re of marriageable age”, “You’ll understand why idly dosa is good food when you go to a hostel and eat in the mess”, You’ll understand the value of money…”  - you get the drift. And as you've probably guessed, life has made a habit of throwing all of it back at me from time to time.

To be honest, I don’t claim to know the value of money even now. I thought I had an inkling in college when I moved to a hostel and had to live on a strict (albeit self imposed) budget. But anything I learnt in those four years seems to have vanished with the advent of the salary.

It pretty astonishing, the ease with which I can go to a fancy place for dinner and in one night, part with an amount of money that would have lasted a month in college. I've always been the type who used to eat to fight not only hunger, but anger, grumpiness and boredom too. But boredom-bingeing in college used to mean going to the Nescafe stall and getting the 6-rupee coffee and, on special occasions like exam time, the 10-rupee lays packet. These days I call up Domino's and order a medium pizza, some garlic bread, a coke and a choco lava cake for dessert, without giving it a second thought! Reason : “I don’t feel like eating what the cook made”. Which incidentally would have been something wholesome like chapathis and brinjal curry.

The same can be said about clothes. Admittedly, I've not been too spendthrift since my first-salary-crazy-shopping-spree, but even now, I’m am surprisingly comfortable with buying branded clothes that I once deemed unnecessary! Not to mention buying flight tickets simply because - “I don’t feel like travelling by train alone”.

Another drastic change I've observed is while keeping account of expenses shared among friends. A debt of 16 rupees used to keep our feathers ruffled until we paid it back, whereas now, our loans keep accumulating and reach four figures before we feel even the slightest inclination to repay what we owe!

I wouldn't call myself reckless or irresponsible, but I am still at a loss to figure out why they kept saying I would realize the value of money after I started earning, when quite the opposite has been happening! Maybe they meant that I would realize it when I was supporting kids of my own. Come to think of it, if a couple of brats try to blow up my hard earned savings, I’d certainly tell them the same things! Then something else occurred to me. I am now so used to this self-sufficient life of luxury and financial freedom, that I cannot a picture living any differently. I simply cannot imagine myself quitting my job and depending on somebody else to support me. I am far too used to this guilt-free control to let it go. 

All this while, when they kept trying to emphasize “the value of money”, I took it to mean that it was hard to earn. But maybe “value” is just a sugar coated expression to indicate the power it yields on our lives.